An early 2007 advert for the candy Vertigo.
Vertigo- sandy and jessica
Like, oh my gosh! You're both hideous!
Advert[]
Two girls named Sandy and Jessica are having some gossip about the new Vertigo products of the time. While their voices are mostly unintelligible, it goes something like this:
Jessica: Oh my gosh, Sandy! Something crazy happened to me!
Sandy: Whaa?
Jessica: I tried this delicious new Vertigo Pop.
Sandy: And?
Jessica: I'm not sure, but it's like, I just felt my brain for a moment!
Both: Omigosh (3x)
Voiceover: Vertigo! Half Chocolatey, Half Candy, Half Crazy!
Why It's Cursed[]
The girls are rendered as cut-outs with pasted faces, which looks incredibly creepy due to the volumetric eyes and mouths. While their age is unclear, for their size, they are unusually busty.
It is also hella cringy, given that they sound like stereotypical gay men and talk like the most ditzy girls of the 2000's. Seriously, the valley girl way of talking died out in the 1980's! Finally, the slogan's voiceover is almost even more annoying than the voices of Jessica and Sandy.
The slogan also makes no sense (Half Chocolatey, Half Candy, Half Crazy), because last time I checked, 3 halves would be thirds. It's so stupid that it makes Patrick Star(Seasons 6-8) seem like Einstein!